Friends

 Sitting on the white bath floor, watching my wet hair curl around my knees, and the water fill in a puddle between my legs - I hate when the water runs luke warm. I hate when I have to stand up, still holding onto the wall, onto my stomach. I don't know what's going on with me, but the nausea still hasn't completely left. My lips were left chapped from the stomach acid over Christmas. They peeled, leaving me with deep rosy pink lips. I have to work in the morning, and I'm still awake at 3am. My shirt needs to be washed, but I can't bring myself to stand up over the sink and hand wash the sauces out. Tomorrow, eating is not looking to be on my agenda. I tried today, and here I am uncomfortable, sideways on my bed. It's times like these I hate living alone. I know, I live with someone, but she's never ever home. The house is bare bones, only the necessities, until you step into my room. Maybe, it's only because I'm feeling sick, and that makes me want someone here. It seems like right before a set of nausea waves set in, I get a pang in my temple. Well, that sounds sort of... Dramatic. My temple is my body. No, on my head, my temple. It pulsates, and then it comes. My imagination is going crazy, and no energy to do anything but write this. I find as I lay in bed all of my best ideas for art come alive, but i never have the energy to live them life. Loops of destruction, eh? Wow, this is a big wave... Deep breath, surprised I lasted through that one. It's so quiet. Time to watch something, or listen to a noise machine.

So I came home, found some bikinis and since I'm planning on having spring break at a location with water, and many other people in swim suits, I decided I need to kick my ass into better shape. As of probably, June I've gone from 156-159 to 140-142, and lost almost 2 pant sizes. I figure if I took these pictures that it could track my progress in the next 3 months, and keep me motivated to work out so I can be in better shape. I really hope this idea works. Cuz, mama needs a new pair of jeans, in a different size. I just wish I had taken a picture like these in June. Ah well. All shame has been lost. 

I thought about it today, and my cats sex life & love life is so much worse than mine... And, then I realized I was thinking about my cats sex & love life...And, I recognized the root of my problems.


Oh god.